Admitting you have a problem...

I have recently determined that I am definitely addicted to food. I read about food addiction, especially sugar addiction, and i see myself reflected in articles. I am an intelligent person. I know the risks of being overweight, the array of illnesses that are awaiting me if I don't change things now. I also know HOW to do it. I know what to eat and how to exercise. It isn't ignorance that keeps me weighed down with the layers of fat that increasingly encase my body. And they DO encase my body... I have begun to picture my heart and other organs surrounded by fat, and having their arteries clogged with cholesterol... trying to function on a daily basis. In addition to hating the way I LOOK, I'm starting to despise the way I feel. I have a number of issues that I believe may be weight related... my hips hurt all the time, I've got feet pain that makes me walk like I"m 80 years old sometimes, I'm tired and have no energy, I have high cholesterol. When I know I'm not going to get the high sugar/high fat foods I'm craving, I get nervous, anxious. I can't concentrate on what I'm supposed to be doing... I just think about wanting a donut. I rarely drink water. I drink at least 60 ounces of diet soda every day. I've recently noticed that my feet have starting sweating. They never used to sweat. Now, even in flip flops on a cool day, my feet are soaked. My shoes have started to have an odor, where they never did before. When I research caused of sweaty feet I see two options that fit me: Anxiety and toxin release. Apparently when you don't exercise enough your feet can start to sweat to release the toxins that are building up in our body. And it's no news that I have some depression and anxiety issues.... they are made worse when I don't like the way I look. I don't feel attractive or healthy. This makes me depressed. I want to just crawl in bed and stay there... which of course makes me gain weight and crave more sugar.... It's a vicious cycle that I can't seem to break. I've recently watched a few shows on eating plant based foods and whole grains... staying away from the processed food. I did something similar for a while and did feel better than I ever have in my life. It did't last long, however, before I was giving in to those cravings for sugar and fat and caffeine. When stressful times arise in my life, my first defense is food. And then I'm right back to the cycle. It is my intention to break this addiction. Here, in the blog, I hope to record my thoughts so that I may see patterns and think things through clearly.